URL: http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/000647
Date: 2002-10-08T16:39:48-06:00
=== Scissors ===
I, like most other people here, went through the security checkpoint. Unlike
everyone else, they decided to search my suitcase. The security lady asked for
permission and then took everything out: clothing, umbrellas, a jacket, and a
box of crackers. She searched all the pockets: nothing. Apparently the jacket
was suspicious; She sent it through again. Nothing.
The lady in the next lane waved a 10-inch knife and asked the lady in my
lane if it could go on. I can only assume she answered yes.
She put everything back in and sent it through again. Still suspicious. They
took everything out. It looked like this was going to take a while, so I used
the opportunity to put the tickets I was holding back in my bag. When I looked
back up, the security woman was brandishing a scissors and saying "This can't
go on board." "I don't remember packing that," I said. I let her confiscate it.
I called my Mom. She doesn't remember packing it either. Is there some sort of
terrorist plot to plant scissors in innocent-looking people's suitcases? I
can't see why this would be useful. How would they know what plane I'm on? Once
I'm on the plane how would they get the scissors? They could threaten me, but
if they have a threatening implement already, then why do they need the
scissors? Perhaps it's some sort of Matroishca-doll system. They use their
fists to get the infant to give them the squeaky mouse, they use the squeaky
mouse to scare the toddler into giving them a copy of _A New Kind of Science_,
they use ANKS to bludgeon a 5th Grader into giving them a wedge block, and they
use the wedge to get me to give them the scissors. Those are some pretty clever
terrorists.
*Update:* False alarm. My Mom called. Apparently it was the scissors she was
using to cut loose threads from my tie last night. It must have fallen in. The
nation can go back to Yellow Level Terrorist Alert.
=== Waiting for Wireless ===
Now I am at O'Hare Airport, sitting outside the Admiral's Club while
businessmen walk in and out. I am looking for a wireless signal, the signal I
used last time I was here, but not finding it. Of course, last time I was here,
I had an Admiral's Club card. This time I have a Mileage Plus Card, but despite
the airline ologopoly--or perhaps because of it (have to keep up appearances,
you know)--I doubt they will accept it.
=== Irony ===
According to the announcement I just heard, Mr. Valenti is going to miss his
flight.
I think of what I'd say if I ran into him. "Jack!" I'd exclaim, as if we were
old pals. "Going to the Eldred case?" Of course he was. "Going to be a good
one." "Hey, remember when you had that debate with Lessig?" I'd ask. "You said
you were starting a new task force to make movies legitimately available on the
Internet. What ever happened to that?" I imagine him mumbling and looking down
at his watch. His plane is going to leave soon; he has to run.
Another announcement: Mr. Michael McKenna needs to call his office. Good thing
these airline announcements keep me up to date.
=== Automatic Flush Toilets ===
Now I am short and the sensing system was mounted up tall in both instances. In
the first, at my old high school (where you think some people might be a little
short...), the flush went off once accidentally. OK, I thought, I can handle
one mistake. Then it went off again. Here at the airport, it misfired three
times.
This is annoying and inexcusable. Have they not heard of user testing? Do they
expect only tall people to use these bathrooms? This problem must be remedied
immediately. I recommend releasing a Service Pack on the manufacturer's web
site.
=== Arrival ===
I've arrived in D.C.--once again, I'm sitting a block away from my hotel on the
sidewalk borrowing someone's connection. Trip was very smooth, had lunch with
Lisa and went to the Spy Museum (pretty cool, but could have been better). Now
for the meetings and parties.
Sorry for not responding to your email. I'm rather busy. ;-)